Weigh in – Week 3

I have new scales! Hurrah! So I can get an accurate reading each week now. This week I weighed in at:

44522750_1899559066758746_4830055783687258112_n

Sorry for the rubbish photo – I used my old iPhone in low light this morning. I’d have probably weighed a little less this week if we hadn’t gone out for dinner last night (ate loads!). But hopefully things will look a little better next week. There are some books that I am desperate to buy and I promised myself I wouldn’t buy any until I got to 17 stone! So I really need to sort it out!

I have managed to keep up with the 10,000 steps a day, which I won’t be upping this week as it’s a struggle to get to them at the moment. I have also had a bit of a set back in my recovery unfortunately as I seem to have irritated my incision (probably from all the movement) so I’m staying there for now.

My steps for last week are as follows:

Monday: 11,085
Tuesday: 11,082
Wednesday: 10,317
Thursday: 10,025
Friday: 10,499
Saturday: 10,166
Sunday: 10,047

Advertisements

Monday Weigh-In Week 2

I haven’t really made an effort food wise this week, but I haven’t over eaten. I have kept up my 7,000 step goal each day. I have had some increased aching this week, which I imagine is because I’m being a hell of a lot more active as I’m also running around preparing stuff for the business and getting the house in order. Yet I still managed to put weight on*. I have read about women putting on weight after a hysterectomy, which I thought would be down to a lot of inactivity for a while, but I was very inactive before my operation due to ill health, so I didn’t think it would really apply to me if I’m honest. I also thought that it was more a menopause thing, and with keeping my ovaries, that that wouldn’t be an issue yet? I was very inactive for a while though, some days not even managing 400 steps, so I imagine it is all that catching up with me. Dawn French managed to lose lots of weight after her hysterectomy though, so it is doable, I just need to persevere. Ah! Just read she lost the weight BEFORE her surgery! But she is managing to keep it off, so that’s a good sign. I need to read up on health after hysterectomy. I’ll write another post with what I find.

*It appears my scales are dodgy. I weighed 17 stone 13lbs yesterday and 17 stone 8lbs today. My Husband said he’s getting weird readings too, so time to invest in some new scales! I think I’ll buy some old fashioned mechanical ones this time!

Steps this week:

Monday: 7,355
Tuesday: 7,436
Wednesday: 7,744
Thursday: 7,638
Friday: 7,554
Saturday: 7,270
Sunday: 8,400

I want to up my target to 10,000 steps daily this week, but my Husband said I shouldn’t, especially where I have had a lot of aches and pains this week. I, at the very least want to hit 8,000 per day. I dunno, I’ll see how it goes…

As mentioned in last weeks post, I was thinking about starting up a new Instagram account, just to keep a check on my food intake. I haven’t eaten much fruit or veg since my operation, I’ve just been living on crap really. So I did a big shop and got it delivered Saturday night with lots of fruit and veggies.

If anyone wants to follow my food diary instagram, you can find it here: https://www.instagram.com/k8fooddiary/

 

My top 5 ways to de-stress

To keep on the same theme over the last couple days, I thought I’d write about a few things I do to make myself de-stress (other than listening to music)! These are in no particular order (except for my number 1!)

5. Bath – Having a bath with candles is really relaxing for me. When we first bought our house, we couldn’t have a bath as the one we had was too small for adults, but we have (thankfully) since replaced that! It is so nice to just have a soak in the tub with some candles lit and Netflix or music on.

dce1d92d382896f86101599e83c99582

4. Cup of tea/coffee and book – I try to make time for this every day, even if just for 10 minutes.

a9456c73603d3c0a81266397aac2d150

3. Walking dogs – My happy time. I love getting out in nature with the dogs and my Husband.

40460823_2202546643336408_6218051225045172224_o

2. Skin Care – Starting to look after myself better has had a tremendous effect on my self-esteem, as well has my skin. It’s another great time-out twice daily to just look after myself and relax.

1. Ziggy! I don’t know what I’d do without this bundle of craziness!!! He always wants cuddles and is an absolute clown. He makes us laugh constantly!! He has also been an amazing help to Leia when we adopted her from China. We couldn’t wish for a better boy 

World Mental Health Day

I had a different blog post written for today, but seeing that it is ‘World Mental Health Day’, I decided to change it and write a post about my mental health for today.

I used to be a really happy, bubbly child.

When I was young, I thought I could do anything and had no fear, even to the point that when I started a new school, (which happened to have a swimming pool) I told the teacher that I was a great swimmer, took a jump off the side into the water with great confidence, and nearly drowned!

As the years went by, I started putting on weight and everything started to change. The name calling started, the incredibly well thought out and intelligent ‘Oi Fatty!’ and all that kind of bollocks was shouted at me on a daily basis. There was one instance when (on a non-school uniform day) another girl and I turned up wearing a sweater with the same branding on it and she looked at me with disgust and said to her friend ‘gross, I’ll never wear this again!’.

The way I thought about things started to change. My home life wasn’t great, my Mum tried her best, but my Dad is an alcoholic with a temper problem. My Sister and I have never gotten on. She was my biggest bully growing up, she clearly never wanted a sister (or at least, me as a sister). I was always looked upon as ‘the artistic’ one, whereas she was the ‘brainy’ one.

I stopped going to school. I ‘officially’ left in the April before my GCSE’s were due to be taken. In that summer I dropped 5 stone, felt amazing, and in the September I started college, doing Art & Design no less! Obviously at that age, I started having an interest in boys, and a year later, I stumbled into an abusive relationship. I should have heard the warning bells after him telling me 2 days after meeting him that he loved me. I wasn’t allowed to wear what I wanted, I wasn’t allowed to spend time with my friends. He called me a psycho, kept putting me down, kept telling me what things I could change to look better, etc. And after he got drunk one night, the physical abuse started. He was the final nail in the coffin of my confidence.

I left college and got a full time job. I was like a mouse, hated answering the phone and serving customers, I was terribly shy, but it was there that I met a friend of mine, that I’m still in touch with to this day. She is an incredibly strong Scottish woman who helped to bring me out of my shell. I’ll never forget when an old bully from school came into the shop we were working in and just stood there laughing at me. My friend told me to go and sit in the office, served the scumbag and then let me know when she’d gone.

My confidence started to build, I worked my way up through this job, then decided to return to university. Just before starting, I met my (now) Husband. I completed a years access course and was enrolled on a photography degree. I decided to not go through with the degree, as we wanted to move in together, so I got a full time job in an office to pay my part of the bills and we moved in with 2 friends of his. That was a big mistake as all they did was argue with each other, which made for a bit of a crap living situation. We moved into our own flat 6 months later and we were really happy while living there. I then started to have panic attacks. They came out of no where. I felt really good, I was happy, so why was I having panic attacks? I kept saying to the doctors, I have nothing to panic about?!

I then collapsed at work. I went to see an emergency doctor and he told me again, this was a panic attack. He said ‘they can be quite disabling to some people’, to which I broke down in tears, and he said, ‘Oh, perhaps I shouldn’t have said that’. I felt like I was having a break down. We put notice on our flat and (stupidly) moved back in with my parents, which wasn’t the calmest, happiest place to be. My Dad and I don’t get on. We had physical fights throughout my time living there.

My mental health really deteriorated and I ended up developing agoraphobia. If I tried to leave the house, I’d have a panic attack, so I didn’t bother.

On talking to my Mum, she ok’d it with my Dad, for me to get a dog. This really helped me, something I could focus on, rather than myself and how I felt.

meandmimi

This was Mimi (she passed in 2015). I had to get up and get out of the house for her, she needed her walks. By doing this, I got talking to people again. We’d always be stopped and spoken to. She was an Afghan Hound, so they’re not a breed people see often. This really helped to get me back on track and return to work and start to lead a normal life again, and the panic attacks drifted away. That time in my life was hard, panic attacks are evil evil things!

My mental health issues come and go. There have been a few times since that time in my life when things have been hard. In particular this last couple of years. The months of going through tests, thinking it could be something sinister were terrifying. Although, I have lost the ability to carry a child, it could have been so much worse, and I have that to be thankful for.

I’m lucky that now feels like a new beginning. I still doubt myself, all the time if I’m honest. But I know deep down I have a good head on my shoulders and three things I really do know about are business, fashion & dogs, so that gives me confidence going ahead with my 2 businesses. I am a lot stronger mentally and I’m so lucky that I am married to a great great man who has been a huge support to me throughout! It can’t have been easy for him.

The biggest thing that has helped me recently though, is the amount that mental health is being talked about. Not being able to talk about it made me feel like there was something seriously wrong with me. I don’t feel like that anymore. Things happened to me, I wasn’t treated well at times and that stuck with me. But now I can start to change that part of me, and kind of, unglue it. Unglue all the shit. By living how you want to live, doing things you want to do, looking after yourself, achieving things, creates a new feeling about yourself. A new confidence.

I went abroad last year to New York with my Husband. I was brought up with a bit of a ‘small town mentality’. Travelling to these places wasn’t for the likes of me, that was for fancy, beautiful, confident people. It opened up my world. Although I still struggle with the ‘I’m not worthy’ thing, it’s something I’m working on. I never had the guts to go into a designer shop, until I went in Saks Fifth Avenue and was treated like *whispers* a normal person *shock horror*, and not some mutant that has just appeared from a swamp!

Anyway, if you’ve read this far, WELL DONE! I’m surprised you didn’t nod off! I just want to end this with, just be nice to people. Don’t judge them, you don’t know what they’re going through/have been through. If anyone is a dick, don’t allow them in your life anymore. It’s hard when it’s family especially, but there are no rules to say you have to spend time with them when they are mean, judgemental, negative people. We have people like this on both sides of our family unfortunately, so we just don’t spend any time with them.

One thing that has helped recently was, someone said ‘do you VALUE this persons opinion?’ If not, then what do you care what they think of you? I wish someone had said that to me in my teenage years. It would have really helped, I think.

 

 

Monday Weigh-in Week 1

Ergh! So somehow I’ve put on 2 1/4 lbs this week? O.O I have eaten less and been more active, but these things happen sometimes don’t they? so I’m not going to get demotivated about it. I weighed in at 17 stone 11 3/4 lbs.

I’ve made sure I’ve hit at least 5,000 steps each day this week. I was going to up it to 6,000 for this week, but I’m jumping to 7,000 as I really want to get this weight moving asap.

This past weeks steps have gone as follows:

Monday: 5,188
Tuesday: 5,037
Wednesday: 5,317
Thursday: 5,109
Friday: 5,236
Saturday: 5,142
Sunday: 6,523

I have been thinking about starting a food diary Instagram account. What do you think? I’m hoping it will help me to really think about what I’m eating and it should be pretty easy to do, just snap a photo and upload?

I also really want to start working out again, so I’m going to look into exercising after a hysterectomy and see how far I can push myself. I’ll write another blog post on it when I have.

If anyone reading this has any tips on losing weight and getting healthy after a hysterectomy, please let me know xx

Getting on a healthier path

Ok, it’s about time I started doing something about my health now that I’m getting my mobility back. So as of today, I’m doing that. I am going to start by trying to hit 5,000 steps each day and building up from there (I managed nearly 6,000 yesterday, so I’m chuffed to bits with that. I always walk more on the weekends though as we’re out with our dogs a lot more). I’m still healing, so I’m not going to beat myself up with trying to hit 10,000 steps yet. I can have great days where I feel I can do anything, but it doesn’t take much to get niggling aches and a swollen stomach, so I don’t want to throw myself into anything too crazy to start with. I’m currently 15 weeks post total abdominal hysterectomy (kept ovaries).

I weighed myself this morning and there is no point in lying about it, I weigh 17 stone 9 1/2 lbs. It’s hard to write that on a public blog, but I feel like being honest will help, and by blogging about it, will give me accountability and hopefully keep me on track. It’s not the heaviest I’ve been, and it’s not the lightest. I just want to say here and now that I am doing this to become healthier and look better FOR ME. I feel unhealthy and don’t like the way I look at the moment. I’ve always felt better physically and psychologically at a lower weight. However there are stunningly beautiful larger ladies, this isn’t about me thinking people need to lose weight to look good, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

To help me lose weight, I decided to come up with a ‘lose weight rewards list’. Something to treat myself. I’m going to stop buying anything for myself unless I hit these targets.

I’ve decided to have my target as 11 stone (I’m 5′ 8”). The lightest I’ve been is 10 stone, which was fine, but I really like food, so I’m hoping 11 stone with a more active lifestyle is more achievable. I’ll see how I feel when I get there.

giphy

So, here we go:

17 stone – 5 books from my Amazon wish list
16 1/2 stone – A Jo Malone candle 
16 stone –  V&A membership
15 1/2 stone – A May Lindstrom product
15 stone – A few Charlotte Tilbury products
14 1/2 stone – Another 10 books from my Amazon wish list
14 stone – An Alexander McQueen skull item (perhaps a scarf? Always wanted one)
13 1/2 stone – A few days away with our dogs
13 stone – Shaun Leane jewellery
12 1/2 stone – A pair of Louboutins
12 stone – An Iris Van Herpen item
11 1/2 stone – An item from Tiffany*
11 stone – London shopping spree and a night at Claridges with my Husband. Photoshoot with Husband and dogs.

*OMG!! I haven’t look on Tiffanys website for a while. Why do I do this to myself?!

So things I NEED:

Bone China Paper Cup

Pet Items – I mean?! Where do you even start with these? Leia and Ziggy NEED the collar charms in particular. I couldn’t justify buying the collars or leads as I’ll be starting to make good quality leather goods for dogs in my own business, but those bowls?!